A divorce between any couple can be a very difficult thing to handle. From proceedings to the uncertainty of the future, divorces aren’t the most pleasant time of anyone’s life. Not to mention the financial stress that’s waiting to be dealt with.
Unfortunately, the list keeps going on but one of the most difficult things at such a testing time is the pressure of telling your children about your divorce. If you have kids, it can be said without a second thought that your divorce would impact the lives of your children greatly. There’s no good way of telling kids that their parents are parting ways. Moreover, there are many factors to consider when you’re going to break the news to them which include:
- Finding the right time to tell them
- Finding an appropriate way to tell them the cause of the divorce
- Not letting the children feel that the divorce is their fault
- Letting the children feel secure that they will still be loved.
Fortunately, there are some ways where this topic can be approached that have the potential to minimize collateral damage.
Age is a Major Factor When It Comes to Telling Your Children About Divorce:
When it comes to telling your children about your divorce, the important thing to bear in mind is their age. The age of your child will significantly impact how they view the world and for the same reason, the news has to be given to them accordingly. This sensitive topic has to be approached very carefully.
Children under and around the age of 5 years wouldn’t fully be able to grasp the entire concept of a divorce. However, it’s important to note that children of this age bracket tend to have a rather self-centered view. This means that in many cases, the child could consider the divorce to be their own fault. And they won’t be able to express how they feel either. In the same way, their first instinct would be that how their life would be without both parents together. At such a time, the children should be assured as much stability as possible. They should be assured that their life will remain normal and both parents should strive to achieve the same.
Children between the ages of 6 – 12 years have a slightly more developed cognitive capacity. They may not fully understand the implications of a divorce or be able to express their feelings but they still might be able to make sense of the situation. There’s also a possibility that the children may blame one parent as the reason for the family to part ways. The children should be constantly reminded that the decision has been made by adults and they wouldn’t be blamed for taking sides or for trying to fix the relationship.
Teenagers tend to become more independent. For the same reason, they might try to distance themselves from both parents or try to present an opinion of how they view the situation. As it is with human nature, they might try to visualize how life will be after. Parents at such a time, need to comfort their children and tell them that they would still support the child and be there for them on their important days. For instance, both parents will attend graduations or play their part for the children’s prom, even if it means that the parents have to come face to face. The more you’re able to help them visualize about things like college tuition, school schedules, and the frequency of seeing the other parent they aren’t living with, the better.
Avoid Conflict for The Children:
It’s already evident how difficult it can be for children to deal with the divorce of their parents. For the same reason, children of all ages should be kept away from situations that can be conflicting for the parents.
Co-parenting should be respected. When exchanging children, communication between both parents should be limited. However, kids shouldn’t be used as messengers for the parents to communicate. The more respect you show to your ex-spouse, the better it would be for the children.
There are many resources such as books and other forms of media that can communicate to children when it comes to dealing with their parents’ divorce. It gives children a sense of security when they see that other individuals in their position faced a similar situation and were able to recover from it.
Another resource to go with is consulting with a mental health professional. Children may not be entirely able to deal with the situation and they could need someone to talk to where they can express themselves. Especially if they can’t express themselves in front of their parents.
Contact Cheap Uncontested Divorce:
We know telling your children about your divorce isn’t easy. Divorces in general can be a supremely difficult time, and that’s why we strive to help in every way we possibly can. We strive to make the process of your divorce as swift and hassle-free as possible. If you are looking for an uncontested divorce attorney in Georgia, our office is available to help you in this difficult time.